7 Lessons Learned in My Difficult Season

Sometimes, I find that when struggling, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees. Isn’t it easy to focus on the difficulty, the short view, the day-to-day challenges? Today I’m sharing a few truths learned in my recent “Hard to Hope” difficult season.

1. Difficult Seasons Reveal Heart Idols.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

In a difficult season, I am suddenly aware of my idols: the things I believe I must have in order to be happy. To serve God. Find joy.

• Health
• Productivity
• Ease
• Comfort
• Usefulness
• Independence

Question for thought:

What false idols am I holding onto? What do I think I must have in order to serve God or be happy?

2. Growth in a Difficult Season is Both Imperceptibly Slow and Surprisingly Deep.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

I want a strong, rich, mature faith. But let’s be honest: I don’t want the work that it requires. Suffering? Trials? Pain?

No, thank you.

Sometimes the growth is so slow that I can’t see it at all. But I believe that God is at work, just as he promised.

Question for thought:

How have I grown in past difficult seasons? Did I see the growth quickly? How have past trials drawn me into a deeper walk with God?

3. My Value is Not in My Productivity.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Over and over in my perfectionist life, I battle the lie that I must “do more” to earn God’s blessing. I don’t even realize I’m believing it, but I act as though I’m only valuable if I’m doing valuable things. That my purpose is productivity.

No. My purpose is to love God with all my heart, soul, and mind, and to love my neighbor. Jesus said it, and I will defer to his authority. Matthew 22:34-40.

Question for thought:

If I stop acting as though I have to earn my salvation, how will that change my life?

4. Chronic Illness is Isolating.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to life him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Chronic illness and pain, discouragement and depression, are lonely places. I find it so tempting to withdraw and nurse my sorrow alone. And truthfully, some withdrawal may be healthy and necessary. It’s important to rest and sleep in order to rejuvenate. But I find I must make ways to fellowship, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes this has been through texting, emailing, and phone calls. Other times, I make the effort to invite someone over or meet a friend for tea. Never battle alone!

Question for thought:

Am I tempted to withdraw in times of difficulty? What can I do today to connect?

5. If You Ask Sugar to Get You Through It, You’re Going to Pay a Price.

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” Galatians 6:7

My sweet husband kept bringing me my favorite treat to chase away the blues: Chai Tea Latte plus chocolate croissant. Eventually, I awoke to the fact that my sugar habit was not doing me any favors.  When I default to too much tv, too many sugary pick-me-ups…I’m “rewarded” by increased discouragement and…aherm…a number of unwanted pounds.

Ask me how I know.

Note to self: make sure I’m managing stress in helpful ways.

Question for thought:

What unhelpful, unhealthful, or unwise habits am I using to “treat myself” in my suffering? What helpful treats could I choose instead?

6. If You Plant Flowers, the Butterflies Will Come.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about those things.” Philippians 4:8

I find this to be true both literally and figuratively. Yesterday, we went to the plant nursery to choose a few plants. I selected some new blooms for my bird and butterfly garden. Literally within minutes, I saw butterflies landing on our new blooms.

Figuratively, I can also plant flowers in my life. When I purposely choose God-honoring, health-boosting activities and thoughts…I will be surprised by butterflies. Joy. Increased energy and health. Wellness. Stronger relationships.

Question for thought:

What positive practice or action can I sow right now, even in my time of difficulty? What examples of positive and negative sowing and reaping can I recall from previous experiences?

7. Storms Bring Destruction and Devastation–and Also New Growth

“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 1 Peter 4:12-13

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:1-2

Storms–both literal and figurative–bring destruction and devastation. This is painful, and we should never pretend otherwise. Rose-colored glasses attempt to ignore or minimize the pain, and that renders it useless. However, even as I mourn the losses and pain of my life, I can look to see what growth can occur through the loss.

I have found a refining aspect to pain and loss, a new clarity of what is important. Here in Oklahoma, when the tornado sirens sound, we climb into our storm shelter. In our shelter we have flashlights, a weather radio, and water bottles. In my backpack I carry the things that are not easily replaced: identification, car keys, important records, necessary medication. That’s it.

In that moment, I realize what is most important: the people I love who are crawling into the shelter with me. All the lovely gee-gaws and doo-dads in my home are useless in a time of emergency.

That’s what trials do for us: clarify the important. Cut the dross. Excise things that may be useful and lovely, but are not necessary. Therefore, I am now free to focus only on what is truly important.

Question for thought:

What growth has come in my life from truly terrible destruction? Is there anything to be gleaned? 

I would love to hear what lessons you’ve learned in times of difficulty! Please share in the comments or on any of my social media posts.

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